FUNNY THOUGHTS PRO
FUNNY THOUGHTS FREE

Of course, I can keep secrets, but the people I tell them to obviously can’t. There are more airplanes in the water than there are submarines in the sky.Ī bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.Ĭhange is inevitable, except from a parking meter. What if there were no hypothetical questions?įreedom means the right to yell, “THEATRE!” in a crowded fire. I have to plug in my phone to charge it so often that I pretty much have a landline again. You have no reason to fear zombies, do you? He’s still in the store!” because nobody lies to Jen when I’m around. 8 days ago.Ī guy talking on his phone in the store just said, “Jen, I’m in the car and on my way.” I yelled at his phone, “No, he’s not. Also politics.Įver noticed that humans cut down big birdhouses to make smaller birdhouses? You can train a cat to do anything the cat wants to do at the moment it wants to do it.Ī jellyfish has existed as a species for 500 million years, surviving just fine without a brain. If I say a hen dips snuff, you can look under her wing for the can. If they run to you concerned, you’re getting old.

If they laugh at you, you’re still young. One way to find out if you’re old is to fall down in front of a crowd. If it requires fake smiling, I’m not going. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see. Have you ever wondered why you can’t taste your tongue? It is not my fault that I never learned to accept responsibility! I walk around as though everything is fine, but deep down, on my right calf, my sock is sliding down. Now he’s 97 years old and we have no clue where he is. My granddad started walking a few miles a day when he was 60. I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.Ī wise man once told me to always listen carefully because…um…I can’t remember.

FUNNY THOUGHTS PRO

If pro is the opposite of con, what would then be the opposite of progress? If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers because I can always count on them.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. There are three kinds of people in this world: those who can count and those who can’t. The people who need it most never use it. They’re not meant to educate or enlighten, though, only to make people laugh.Įveryone has the right to do stupid things, but you’re abusing that privilege.Ĭommon sense is like deodorant. They’ll have you wondering if there’s not a little truth to them. These stupid sayings won’t just have you laughing. As the Irish proverb says, “a good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.” This blog post contains dumb quotes, good quotes, and several dozen silly sayings that I hope will bring you great pleasure! Stupid Funny One-Liners

FUNNY THOUGHTS FREE

The best things in life aren’t only free they’re stupid and funny. Whether you need a laugh now or want to keep a few funny phrases handy, these stupid funny sayings are just what the doctor ordered. Laughter is the best medicine (especially in the 2020s!).

Funny thoughts